If patience is a virtue, I am rarely a virtuous woman

During a recent chat over lunch with my career coach, we got on the topic of what I am learning from my experience searching for my next position. Having a slightly sarcastic side to my personality, I had to exercise a great deal of restraint to keep my response appropriate to the context and company. Later that evening, having been unable to get the conversation out of my head, I realized that there are quite a few “take-aways” from this experience and not all of them negative. Perhaps the biggest for me is learning to have patience.

When it comes to me, personally, I have never been a particularly patient individual. I tend to expect a higher level of performance from myself than I would ever expect of anyone else. This characteristic once prompted a therapist to say to me, “Maggie, perfection is about heaven, and in case you haven’t noticed – you aren’t living there.”

Generally, I do tend to achieve whatever I set out to do. Unfortunately, what this means is that if for some reason my expectations are out of sync with reality, patience is in short supply. There tends to be a lot of introspective analysis of where I got off track and what it will take to refocus my efforts to reaching whatever end-state was so blasted important in the first place. Ironically, this rarely, if ever, spills over onto others and I am incredibly patient with children, even my own. Go figure.

This job quest is teaching me (the hard way) how to be patient with myself in general, but more specifically, when things are beyond my control. It has also taught me that there are a lot of things in this world that are beyond my control. A very sobering realization, I must admit. At the same time, I have discovered that one thing is universally in my control and that is how I respond to the situation.

This isn’t to say that I am serenely going about my day, calm and secure in a place of Zen. I’m not. Not even close. There are days that I am barely keeping it together and there are days that I can actually forget that my situation is so tenuous. And in between those two extremes are a lot more days where my expectations align with reality.

The Wisdom of The Rolling Stones

I often find comfort in music and lyrics. Sometimes, it seems like certain songs have become the background music to, or themes for, phases and events in my life. They can be talismans to help me overcome a tough situation, or, so strongly associated with an event that it brings everything back as though I were reliving the experience.

When depression stalks me, it is Big Country’s “In a Big Country” that helps me find the strength to push through the darkness in my mind to find the joy in living. Anything by the band Poison reminds me of some wild times when I lived in central Florida during the late 80s. U2 makes me think of college. Bruce Springsteen’s “Born to Run” will always remind me of the first date with my husband. The music of the Indigo Girls reminds me of the worst heartbreak I ever sustained, while the music of The Cure brings to mind a particularly intense two year relationship with someone who was the most fun, and the most trouble, I ever got involved with. The Dixie Chicks version of “Landslide” brings to mind the day I delivered my oldest son, while Mercy Me’s “I Can Only Imagine” was the song on the radio when I got the confirmation that I was pregnant with my youngest son.

As I go through the interview and salary negotiation stage of my job search, “You Can’t Always Get What You Want” has become my latest anthem, specifically the chorus.

In the current job market, salary ranges are not what they were and employers are looking for those “exact DNA matches” for prospective hires. So what do you do when you are, or could be, that missing piece of DNA from an organization, but their salary range isn’t an exact match to what you want?

Should you hold out for what you want or take a job that covers what you need?

I’ve heard horror stories from other people out of work who have had to take salaries that were anywhere from 15 to 60% lower than what they were making because it was take the job or face financial disaster. I’ve been looking for a job that pays what I want for ten months without much success. I can't tell you how many times I have been told that my qualifications are exactly what the company is looking for, but they can't afford me. Or, while my salary expectations are in line with what they are looking to pay, I will need to relocate for the position rather than commute.

Trying to find the line between selling yourself too cheaply and figuring out what you are worth is a tough one. There is also the very real fear of a prospective employer that if they hire you at a lower rate, you are going to bolt for richer pastures as soon as the economy rebounds. As I speak with prospective employers about salary requirements, I often think about what I tell my children, "What you want and what you're going to get aren't always the same thing."

I think that ol’ Mick and Keith had it right, so I am going to focus more on getting what I need. A job that will allow me to have some time with my family, keep a roof over our heads, and meet the basic living expenses. Finding what I want can wait for better economic times or maybe I will get lucky and find that what I want and what I need are the same thing.

Update: Strangely enough, within days of writing this piece, I landed a contract to hire position – which is going to pay me an hourly rate that is within my salary range – has all the elements of my dream job - and is with the company at the top of my “dream” employers. Now, all I have to do is prove my worth to convert it from a contract position into a permanent hire.

To all the other displaced/laid-off/ or otherwise unemployed – do not give up. Keep networking, keep applying, keep your mind open to the possibilities – your job is out there. It may show up at the last minute or from an unexpected quarter, but it is going to show up. Sometimes, to get what you want, maybe you do have to focus on getting what you need.

Is being realistic in actuality a form of pessimism or vice versa?

My father once told me that a pessimist is nothing more than an optimist who has had his, or her, teeth kicked in one too many times.

As I approach the end of my severance period, and face the distinct possibility that I will have to find a way of living on unemployment compensation while I continue to look for a job, I have been thinking about the difference between being realistic and being pessimistic. I have also been thinking that maybe my father had a point.

When my husband was laid-off a few years ago, we had that nice cushion in savings that all the financial gurus recommend. We were able to cover the difference between unemployment compensation and what he made before he was laid-off. The cushion was something we believed we could build back up once the dust settled. Unfortunately, it didn’t. His industry was one of the first to start to feel the downturn in the economy. Our cushion dwindled down to nothing by the spring of 2008. In the spring of 2008, the company I worked for gave notice that headcount reductions were coming, and I realized that we both might be out of work for a period of time.

Despite my concern, I knew that I was going to be fine, regardless of whether or not my head was actually on the chopping block. My “day job” as a project manager is one of those professions that lends itself to both contractor/consulting or permanent employee status, so I was sure that, even in a down economy, I would find something since companies still need to get projects done. My husband landed a new job with good benefits, so if the worst happened, I saw my situation as a potential to recoup some of our financial losses through the generous severance package the company was offering. As it turned out, I was cut in the fall, but I still remained positive that I would have a job by January.

My optimism was rewarded and I did in fact get an offer for a six month contract to hire position to start in January. Unfortunately, for me, the company lost funding for the position and I found myself back in job search. I had a rough couple of days (okay, it was weeks) before I shook it off and got back in the game, even more convinced that I would have a job offer before my severance period ended. Again, my optimism was rewarded with another twelve month consulting opportunity that was to start in May. This time, I thought I had nailed down all those pesky little issues that might make the offer less definite – like did the consulting company actually have a real contract with the client company as opposed to a gentleman’s handshake. Unfortunately, again, due to circumstances beyond my control, the client company has pushed off the project start date, twice; changed direction for its project; and added more requirements that it wants in the project manager, some of which I am lacking. It is looking like I may not have a job after all. Unlike the last time, I never got out of the job search game, so I still have a number of possible opportunities that I am pursing.

On some level, to even contemplate filing for unemployment and looking into whether or not my family qualifies for food stamps feels a lot like being pessimistic. To consider these things feels like I am giving up. On the other hand, the reality is that I have one more paycheck coming to me and there is still going to be a mortgage payment, utilities, car payment, credit card bills, insurance, and all the other “stuff” that will come due next month. Even if one of the other job possibilities comes through for me, there is a slim chance that it will happen before my severance period ends. While I have tried to put aside a bit of a buffer, it isn’t going to be enough to buy me much wiggle room.

The mantra that all of the job and career coaches are spouting is that you must remain positive and optimistic in your job search; that you need to focus on what the opportunities are and remain open to them; that you should use this time to think about what you really want in a job or career; and that if you want it bad enough you can make it happen for you.

Um, at the risk of sounding negative – sometimes it is a bit hard to paste on the happy shiny face and think of the possibilities when the reality is that you need a job to keep from losing your home, your car, your good credit rating, and thus the potential for the type of job(s) that you are accustomed to working.

Let me take a moment to say that as rough as things might get, I do acknowledge that I am lucky, incredibly lucky and thankful, to have had a severance package that lasted as long as this one has. Most of the other displaced/down-sized/laid-off people I have met have not had severance packages, or if they did, the packages were small.

Do I still believe I am going to find a job? Yes. I am also still convinced that it will be a better position that my last one, but I am worried that I may cross the line between realism and pessimism if it doesn’t happen soon.

When Your Brass Ring Turns Green: Part 5 - Rejection, It's Not Just for Writers...

This has been a rough month and a half. First, I was dealing with the deafening sound of crickets in response to my numerous resumes/applications. Then, around the middle of April, my in-box and mail-box have been filled with “…while your credentials are impressive, you have not been selected…” responses.

I know I am in good company. The March report from the Bureau of Labor Statistics on the unemployment numbers indicated that there are 13.2 million people out of work in the US. (United States Department of Labor, (2009, April 3). The unemployment situation: March 2009. Bureau of Labor Statistics News. Retrieved April 3, 2009, from: http://www.bls.gov/news.release/pdf/empsit.pdf.)

What can a person do to get out of the mountainous pile of resumes received for each opening and in front of a hiring manager? Or, better yet, what can one do to get an interview?

All the experts will tell you that the trick to landing a job, especially in this type of job market, is using your network to get in the door at your targeted companies. Networking can take a number of forms and doesn't have to be seen as a difficult endeavor. It took me a few months to get in the swing of things, but I am finding that when I forget about the job search for a moment and focus on the opportunity to learn about a new industry, a career option, or gain a new friend, it is really not a bad way to spend some time. So far, it has not resulted in a job. I've met a lot of interesting people and some contacts that may help me at some point, but the elusive dream job is still beyond my grasp. For now.

In addition to networking like crazy, I have decided to get creative.

One of the networking groups I belong to sent out a query on behalf of a reporter for personal stories about coping with unemployment. I contacted the reporter and gave an interview, which may be published later this month. I have also registered with a radio station in my home town that is featuring an unemployed listener each week and helping that person promote themselves to prospective employers on the air and on the station’s website.

Sort of unusual tactics, and even more unusual when you factor in my nature; I tend not to seek the spotlight so this is way outside of my “comfort zone” under any circumstances. So why am I putting myself out there? My hope is that a prospective employer will see that I am able to “think outside the box” and willing to take a risk. My hope is that a prospective employer will recognize these strengths that can be hard to demonstrate on a resume. My hope is that a prospective employer will realize that they need someone like me in their organization.

Will it work? We shall see, but that is the beauty of the successful creative thinking – you never know if it will work until you try.

When your brass ring turns green: Part 4 - A day in the life…

The day I turned in my keys, etc. then walked out the door of the company I’d spent the last 11 years, three months, and two weeks working for was actually a pretty good day. I felt an incredible sense of relief and easing of the stress that I had been dealing with since hearing of the head-count reductions six months earlier. In fact, the first two weeks of unemployment were more like a vacation than anything else. I made lists of the projects I wanted to tackle. I threw myself into cleaning my home, doing little home beautiful projects, and my writing.

The depression hit me about a month in. Mid-October found me a bit on the angry and frustrated side. My house-keeping frenzy tapered off, my little projects seemed too overwhelming and I really wanted to just curl up in a ball at the back of my closet. That not being feasible, I started going back to the gym and working on my plan for finding a job. I tried not to think about what would happen if the economic situation didn’t improve. I set up a schedule to spend a certain amount of time on-line reviewing the job boards, researching companies, and learning about social networking sites. I attended meetings with a career coach and checked out the outplacement services company provided by my former employer. I applied to take the PMP exam and threw myself into studying for it. What I did not do was deal with the very real issue of depression that is a part of losing a job.

In December, I landed a temporary consulting position that was to start in January, so I put my job search on hold. This was a huge mistake. Due to the state of the economy, the start date for the position was pushed off to February and then the funding for the position was pulled. The end result was a loss of two months time in my job search. That may not sound like much, but with the number of candidates competing for the few jobs out there, this was serious. I knew I had to shake off the blues over being unemployed, my disappointment over not having a temporary job, and refocus my efforts.

Here is what I learned from this phase of being out of work:
1. Until you are actually working somewhere, do not put your job search on hold.
In the current economy, there are no guarantees. I have heard some horror stories of people showing up at the new job and being laid-off within days of starting the new position. I am learning that job search is not something that one should turn off the moment an offer is received.

2. Do not brush off the blues over being un-employed.
It isn’t unusual and there is no stigma associated with it. Talk with someone, join a support group, or make an appointment with your spiritual advisor or a therapist. If you ignore the situation, it will only get worse and can begin to affect your loved ones as well as your ability to effectively market yourself.

3. Establish and keep a routine.
A routine can help you combat the blues. It will keep you focused and give a sense of accomplishment, even if your phone isn't ringing and the rejection letters or e-mails are coming in. If you always started your day when you were employed by checking e-mail, reading the paper, or scanning the news feeds for your industry, then continue to do so.

4. Put some exercise into your day.
This is another thing that will help you combat the blues and give you a sense of accomplishment. Even if it is something small like pacing when you are making your networking phone calls or buy an exercise ball to sit on at the computer rather than a chair.

5. Find something to do every day that makes you happy.
Sounds silly but this is important to set aside some time to do something that brings you some peace and joy. It could be reading something for fun or to learn about a new topic. It could be playing with your kids, actually playing rather than watching them play. Whatever you chose, make sure it will be enjoyable. The purpose is to provide a stress-free activity so that you are refreshed and energized when you engage in your job search activities.

Hope this helps. Stay tuned – next time I will share some of the networking tips and tricks I have picked up.

When your brass ring turns green: Part 2 – Denial is not a river…

Rumors of cuts are flying – what should you do?

If conversations at the coffee pot or in the restroom are about rumored head-count reductions, chances are that one is coming - at some point - but that is all you should count on. The office grapevine can be a valuable source of information – if it is used appropriately. Consider rumor of head-counts as an early warning alert but don’t treat it as gospel, and don’t stick your head in the sand because you don’t want to think it could happen to you. Truth is – every single employee is at risk. Think you are safe because you have a folder full of glowing performance evaluations? Displacement is going to hit you harder from an emotional standpoint than the person with a less sparkling performance history. Don’t become a victim of denial.

What you should do is:
1. Follow the advice your mother gave you as a child: keep your ears open and your mouth shut. Listen to the information and try to separate the fact from the fiction.

2. Do some introspective thinking. Now is the time to think about your career. Are you really happy working for this company? It seems like a no-brainer. You work there, ergo, you want to. Not necessarily. You may just be in a rut. Same goes for your job. Is this what you want to be doing?

3. Start a skills inventory. The goal is to understand what you like to do, what you are good at doing, and what you might want to learn how to do. There are books you can borrow from your local library, or purchase at the bookstore, that can help you work through the process. If you can afford it, there are life and career coaches who you can hire to guide you in developing an inventory and administering standardized tests to identify your interests and personality type.

4. Get that professional certification, degree, or continuing education courses that you have been putting off. This is especially true if your employer has an education reimbursement program. You want your skills to be as up to date as possible before the company starts doing its internal skills assessments in anticipation of restructuring or downsizing. Even though you may not be able to finish a degree before the downsizing begins, the fact that you are enrolled may be a mark in your favor or give you a leg up on the competition.

5. Start looking at your family finances. Get a realistic picture of what you have coming in and going out each month. Don’t forget to include things that occur once a year like taxes or membership dues. If you can start eliminating the non-essentials from your budget, setting aside a cushion and/or paying off outstanding debt before you are faced with a loss of income it will minimize the stress of losing your job.

6. Build or strengthen your professional network. If you are not on a networking site like LinkedIn.com, join one and begin to build your network by inviting your co-workers, former classmates, friends, and acquaintances. Join on-line groups for your profession as well as any face-to-face professional associations.

7. Update your resume. If you can afford it, hire a professional to help you re-vamp your resume. If you can’t afford it, talk to people in your network about giving you advice.

8. Check the job boards on-line. While a small percentage of positions are actually found in this manner, it doesn’t hurt to look even though you may be only passively searching for work at this stage. Get a feel for what is out there and who the companies are in your area with openings. This will also help with item 4. By looking at job openings, you will also get a feel for how your qualifications stack up.

9. Define what the perfect job and working environment for you would be. Write down everything no matter how silly or unrealistic. Set it aside for a day or two, or three, then come back and take another look. Refine this list into the “must-have” and “nice to have” criteria. Then start researching companies to find those that match or come close to the criteria and offer the types of work you are interested in.

10. Continue to do your job to the best of your ability.

Stay tuned – next time I’ll talk about what to do when you know you are out of a job.

When your brass ring turns green: Tips and thoughts on being downsized.

Part 1 – Introduction

This is part 1 in a series of blogs on dealing with displacement. While I can’t lay claim to having the answers or even any degrees or formal training in life coaching, career counseling, or the like, what I do have is experience in the trenches. With the economic situation what it is, we all need to share our tricks and tips for getting through the rough times.

In my hometown there was one employer that everyone aspired to work for. Rumor had it a job with this company was a job for life even into the 1990’s when corporate downsizing was starting to become a normal tool for reducing operation expenses. I landed a job with this company as a fluke in the late 90s and I truly thought I had died and gone to corporate heaven. In my opinion, I had snagged the brass ring and was going to stick with the company until it was time to retire thirty-something years down the road.

Like most things that seem too good to be true, it was.

At the start of last summer, the department I worked in was eliminated and I found myself one of the displaced. Or as I preferred to think of it – I got voted off the island in a game of Survivor: Corporate Edition. There was a difficult six month transition where I still worked for the company (I called it being on Exile Island looking for that hidden immunity idol) but in reality I felt a bit like a plague carrier. People avoided talking to you for fear that displacement was a disease that could be caught from being in the same breathing space. Where before I was always busy, now I was begging for work to do and searching for a new position both internally and externally. Watching this last bastion of the old way of corporate life erode has been painful; in particular because the company truly was unique in its culture and in part because I truly believed in the ability of the company to overcome the challenges it faced.

I have been gone from the company for approximately five months now and sadly, still unemployed. Or, as my husband likes to say, gainfully un-employed since there was a nice severance package that included benefits.

Like many companies that have gone down this road, my former employer is continuing to cut its head-count and re-organize so I hear from friends still at, or recently displaced from, the company on a regular basis. Some are hoping that the economic situation isn’t as grim as the news media is painting it and that I will tell them of the largesse of job offers I am fielding. Some are looking for reassurance that there is a life after leaving the company. Some want a shoulder to cry on or an ally to commiserate with as they bemoan the unfairness of the situation.

Truth?
* The economic situation stinks and the job market is not good. I have gotten more rejection letters or e-mails than I care to dwell on.
* Yes, there is life outside of the company and frankly, it is pretty darn nice to take a break from clutching onto that corporate ladder to really consider what is or is not important in life.
* I am more than willing to listen and offer encouragement to those who are going through this.

What I will not do is engage in negative criticism of the company’s treatment of me. It does nothing and frankly – compared with some of the other stories of downsizing out on the street – I and every other employee displaced have received more consideration than the majority of companies offer these days. So this blog article is not about the evils of corporate downsizing or a swipe at my former employer. What it is intended to do is share some things I have learned and some coping techniques.

If you are interested – stay tuned. Next time I'll write about what to do when rumors are flying.