The Wisdom of The Rolling Stones

I often find comfort in music and lyrics. Sometimes, it seems like certain songs have become the background music to, or themes for, phases and events in my life. They can be talismans to help me overcome a tough situation, or, so strongly associated with an event that it brings everything back as though I were reliving the experience.

When depression stalks me, it is Big Country’s “In a Big Country” that helps me find the strength to push through the darkness in my mind to find the joy in living. Anything by the band Poison reminds me of some wild times when I lived in central Florida during the late 80s. U2 makes me think of college. Bruce Springsteen’s “Born to Run” will always remind me of the first date with my husband. The music of the Indigo Girls reminds me of the worst heartbreak I ever sustained, while the music of The Cure brings to mind a particularly intense two year relationship with someone who was the most fun, and the most trouble, I ever got involved with. The Dixie Chicks version of “Landslide” brings to mind the day I delivered my oldest son, while Mercy Me’s “I Can Only Imagine” was the song on the radio when I got the confirmation that I was pregnant with my youngest son.

As I go through the interview and salary negotiation stage of my job search, “You Can’t Always Get What You Want” has become my latest anthem, specifically the chorus.

In the current job market, salary ranges are not what they were and employers are looking for those “exact DNA matches” for prospective hires. So what do you do when you are, or could be, that missing piece of DNA from an organization, but their salary range isn’t an exact match to what you want?

Should you hold out for what you want or take a job that covers what you need?

I’ve heard horror stories from other people out of work who have had to take salaries that were anywhere from 15 to 60% lower than what they were making because it was take the job or face financial disaster. I’ve been looking for a job that pays what I want for ten months without much success. I can't tell you how many times I have been told that my qualifications are exactly what the company is looking for, but they can't afford me. Or, while my salary expectations are in line with what they are looking to pay, I will need to relocate for the position rather than commute.

Trying to find the line between selling yourself too cheaply and figuring out what you are worth is a tough one. There is also the very real fear of a prospective employer that if they hire you at a lower rate, you are going to bolt for richer pastures as soon as the economy rebounds. As I speak with prospective employers about salary requirements, I often think about what I tell my children, "What you want and what you're going to get aren't always the same thing."

I think that ol’ Mick and Keith had it right, so I am going to focus more on getting what I need. A job that will allow me to have some time with my family, keep a roof over our heads, and meet the basic living expenses. Finding what I want can wait for better economic times or maybe I will get lucky and find that what I want and what I need are the same thing.

Update: Strangely enough, within days of writing this piece, I landed a contract to hire position – which is going to pay me an hourly rate that is within my salary range – has all the elements of my dream job - and is with the company at the top of my “dream” employers. Now, all I have to do is prove my worth to convert it from a contract position into a permanent hire.

To all the other displaced/laid-off/ or otherwise unemployed – do not give up. Keep networking, keep applying, keep your mind open to the possibilities – your job is out there. It may show up at the last minute or from an unexpected quarter, but it is going to show up. Sometimes, to get what you want, maybe you do have to focus on getting what you need.